Losing Your Identity

Did you ever have a time in your life where you thought who am I, what do I want in life, and where do I see myself?

Have you been through a life altering time, such as divorce, becoming a parent, change of careers, loss of a family member, or friend, etc...

From personal research I discovered that people usually acquire their identities through the tasks they do and the objects they identify themselves with.

Identity Crisis is a psychological term that describes someone who's in the constant state of searching for his identity. So identity crisis doesn’t refer to real crisis but it just describes a normal stage of personality development.

I am writing to share my story... 

Throughout my life, I knew I always wanted to be of service in a community setting working with youth. Although I work(ed) at jobs that were not in the community setting it was always a dream that one day it would happen. 

Last year I was home, my work had closed down, so it gave me the opportunity to work towards my dream/goal. Each day I would wake up early, and go to bed late, I was living the dream. My family was understanding, my husband said do you what you have to do, and make it happen! 

A few months into my time at home I connected with an ol' highschool friend, and we along with an incredible team began an journey starting up an organization called It Takes 2 (IT2) Youth Leadership Institute. As with any new start up there is a ton of work involved, alot of "blood, sweat, and tears" have been put into IT2. Always done with love, a smile, energy and a whole lot of passion. When you have an amazing leader, and fantastic people on your team, it just flows.

Over the course of several months, I took on IT2 like it was my child, I nurtured it, and I lived and breathed it, "IT" became my identity. People would tell me to sleep, I always said no, people said leave your options open, and I said no. I was not receiving what people were trying to say. IT2 had consumed my life, and there was no balance. I was in love with the idea of becoming the person I had always hoped/dreamed about.

So Spring of 2013 comes, and I started to get a little concerned, sadly there was no funding for IT2 as yet, and my reality was I needed a paycheck. So I had to start looking for work. It didn't take me long, I started with a company in June, and although it is a fantastic company, with great people, it is not what I am meant to do. It pays the bills, so for that I am grateful. I scaled back from IT2, just because I realized I was not balancing everything in my life, and things were starting to suffer.

It took about 2 months before I could feel "normal", things are great in my life, and I am enjoying my job. I hope to get back at IT2, because I believe in IT2 wholeheartedly but the greatest lesson learned is, BALANCE, BALANCE, AND BALANCE. It is okay to live the dream, and be a passionate person, but ensure you are channeling it the right ways and most importantly take time out for you!

In closing, the more you make your identity dependent on your job, your wealth, your friend’s love or any external object, the more likely you will lose this identity when you lose that external object. 

Thanks for stopping by...

Much Love,
Shelley